Missed ledes: where is the news? What is most important? Why should your audience care? FOLLOW THE RULES FROM SYLLABUS! 1 sentence as a standalone paragraph. 35 words or less.
THIS IS NOT PUBLIC RELATIONS (PR)!!! This is a news story. You must show the “other” side, whatever that means in context. Avoid spin: what is the other person trying to sell or convince you of?
EVERYONE DOES NOT FEEL OR THINK EXACTLY THE SAME WAY ABOUT THIS ISSUE, EVENT, ETC. Think of it as the “To be sure” graf or section.
For example:::: To be sure, not all ice cream parlors have seen their business drop this winter.
While many students said they dislike the changes, some are embracing them.
BE SPECIFIC!!! Avoid the terms like “a lot, large, small.” Instead, tell your reader: How many? How long? How much? Don’t say it was “cold and windy.” Find out what the temperature was and how high the wind gusts got.
FOLLOW DIRECTIONS AND READ YOUR SYLLABUS!! Many of you did not include slugs, 2 headlines, etc.
Keep It Simple!
TALK TO MORE PEOPLE!
Limit your paragraphs to 1-2 sentences.
ATTRIBUTION!! Must be 100% clear who said what, or whom you are paraphrasing or what study or group you are citing. Otherwise, it is your opinion, or worse, not your work and words!!
NO FRIENDS and NO FAMILY!!! Quotes too perfect, there is obvious cutting and pasting and you kept in words like “our” and “we” that likely occurred on the Web site or because you are too close to the person. I am watching.
NO FIRST or SECOND PERSON! Can’t use “I, we, our, you, me” unless directly quoting someone or if I give you permission.
TRIM THE FAT!! AVOID REPETITION! AVOID MEANINGLESS QUOTES. “I like it a lot.” WEAK!!!
Attribution usually better at end, maybe in middle of quote. Rarely good first. “Blah, blah,” said Jones. NOT –Jones said, “Blah, blah.”
Did I mention AP style?